“So I heard you were starting your Fakemon blog today! I bet it’ll be pretty rad, not as rad as mine of course, but maybe I’ll see if I can’t send a few followers your way.
“But hey, I just picked up a starter from the hobo in the lab coat. He says you picked a CARCICANID? Lame, everyone knows Splaship is where it’s at. Here, let’s find out which is better…”
Okay. Your dash has slowed down enough that you get bored enough to venture outside. You open the door and shit you run into this douche
God you hate this guy. He has exactly twice as many followers as you, and his every post receives more notes than yours. Oh he hasn’t done anything to you personally perhaps, but he also has this whole condescending air about him that’s just infuriating. His url is some generic deep and meaningful saying or something, but you have your own name for him. Uh… what do you call him behind his back again?
There we go. A young man stands in his bedroom.
Wow, today is your first day as a Fakemon trainer. That’s pretty awesome. Adventuring, the great outdoors, discovering new Fakemon, and riding bicycles indoors! All this and more awaits you on your journey to beat all the gyms and become a Fakemon master the likes of which the world has never seen!
You piss away about six hours on Tumblr.
Well, now that preparations are complete, I’d say you’re just about ready to start your Fakemon journey! We’ll skip the traditional start-of-the-journey fetch quest; here’s some pokeballs, go have fun!
Oh, and one more bit of advice!
Whatever you do,
Don’t ride your bike indoors.
Don’t fucking do it.
I’ll be keeping my eye on you….
A young man stands in his shit wait this doesn’t look right
Whisprlite, the Will-o-wisp Fakemon
Whisprlite are nocturnal fakemon most commonly sighted in very quiet areas. They use their otherworldly glow to lure in bug fakemon to feed on.
Whisprlite and its evolution, Thundrlite, show similarities to the Pokemon Gastly and Haunter. For this reason some scientists have proposed a common ancestor of the two lines. A third evolution of the Whisprlite line has not yet been discovered, but it is theorized that if such an evolution exists it would need to be artificially initiated.
Well now that the formalities are out of the way, let’s get started, shall we?
Before you can start your grand Tumblr journey, you’ll need to choose a starter. Traditionally trainers are given a choice between three possible starters, and the Tumblr region is no different. Your choices are as follows:
Zecub, the Hibernation Fakemon
Zecub sleep for eighteen hours a day. In the wild, these creatures often bury themselves underground to avoid predators during their frequent naps. Despite appearances, Zecubs can become highly aggressive if woken up suddenly.
Carcicanid, the Fire Fox Fakemon
This Fakemon is constantly emitting a highly toxic smoke from its tail. If inhaled over prolonged periods, the smog can cause numerous illnesses and health problems. For this reason humans and many Fakemon avoid building communities near areas where this Fakemon is common.
Splaship, the Tiny Bird Fakemon.
What are Splaships?
We just don’t know.
Now pick your starter to begin your own Blogging journey!
New species are frequently being discovered throughout the region by trainers like yourselves! In the interest of furthering Fakemon science, if you discover a new species, please let us know whatever information you discover!
(( aka Tyler is lazy and unimaginative. Ask/submit fakemon ideas or dex entries and I’ll sprite it myself and toss it into the region! ))
Hi there, stranger. You look a little lost. Are you new around here?
Here, I’ll introduce myself. I’m TMITyler, and it looks like you’ve found your way to the Tumblr Region.
What’s that? Professor? No, I’m not a professor. Is it the coat? It’s the coat, isn’t it? You know you can just buy these, right? They’ll literally sell these things to anyone.
Anyway, about the Tumblr region. Around here you’ll discover a variety of strange, exotic creatures we call Fakemon. They’re a whole lot like Pokemon, but with a whole lot more copyright infringement.
But we’ll skip the basics and get right down to business. So tell me: Are you a boy, or a girl? We’re very enlightened here in the Tumblr region, so I’d hate to assume.